heads i win, tails you lose

summer is flying by...and i know this because brad just told me football practice starts this weekend.  this is big news.  it means the official start of college football season is single-digit weeks away.  our tv has been off for months and in four weeks it will be glowing with ultra-important football news.  brad is really passionate about football.  i tried am trying will try to get excited about football.  i want brad to enjoy football but i hate the time and money wasted on a game that brings wealth to jerks, injuries to players and heartache to my husband.  i want to have it my way.

i want lettuce from my garden but i don't want to wash it.  i want to hike with stimson but i don't want to tell a story.  i want merritt to grow up but not get older. i want to get my work done but i don't want any problems.  i want cooler days but i don't want summer to be over.  i want to camp but i want to eat vegetables.  i want to sit down and read a book but i want to have my house organized for the next day.  i want to cook but i don't want to clean up.  i want to have a glass of wine but i want to have a good run in the morning.  i want to adopt a baby but i want it to happen now and at the right age and i want it to be easy and i want to have no problems and i want it to be free.  i want the other side of the coin.  oh how easy to wish for tails when you get heads.

on the adoption front- NOTHING is happening. except for the passage of time.  (which is something i guess) it almost feels like it did when we were wanting/hoping/trying to get pregnant and it wasn't happening.  we were trying to plan our lives around an event that we dreamed about but had no basis in reality.  somehow you have to make daily decisions- big and small, even though our lives could change at any moment.  should i take this new job?  should we plan a vacation?  should we spend money on travel?  do we need a car that can fit three car seats?  do we need bunk beds?  should we be getting vaccinations?  should we be talking and planning about things that we have no idea about?  should we even be thinking about the future?  should i get rid of our old baby clothes?  how much to keep?  3 month size?  6 month?  girl? boy?

our kids are getting bigger and we are getting older and we have no news to report about new babies.
but we do have other big news:  stimson climbed his first mountain last week.

and merritt sat in the bus seat by herself!