dossier!

sometimes i wish i had time to write.  i write in my head (talk to myself?) all the time. constantly.  but if i were to sit at my computer to write i would get a kid or two in my lap and they would be "helping" a great deal. merritt is so busy these days.  all kids are busy i guess but merritt is busy with chaos.  stimson is orderly and obedient; agreeable and amenable.  merritt is stubborn, willful, and a lover of chaos.  she goes the opposite of where we need to go and does the opposite of what we need to do.  

in other news: we finally got all our dossier documents together.  we mailed them last week.  i had spent that morning running around town gathering the final documents, making copies, running to fedex, grabbing coffee to stay awake on the drive to the post office, tossing toys to the back seat (merritt hates riding in the car).  i finally pulled up to the post office with my over-tired and over-hungry 17-month old.  i was frantically trying to get organized and saw that my groceries had tipped over.  and of course my lunch that included bright red beets and alfalfa sprouts had spilled all over the grocery bag and floor.  i frantically tried to throw all my official documents and copies together in an envelope (sans beets and sprouts and salad dressing) so we could run into the post office and quickly mail it and head home.  my heart sank as we walked in.  nothing tragic, papers still in hand, weather fine, remembered address and envelope.  no, it was much worse than that... there were at least 20 people standing in line.  waiting.  and those 20 people did not have a 1 1/2 year old.  i felt like asking to go to the front since i was mailing worthy and important documents and had a small baby that was practically crying.  i didn't.  maybe next time. wouldn't that be gutsy? 

so in we trudge. (i trudge, merritt explores)  i still have all my papers in a messy pile but now i realize i have plenty of time to get them organized.  i begin my task while merritt begins dismantling the post office waiting area.  first the cards go on the floor one by one. i put one paper in my pile, pick up three cards, one more in, pick up five more cards.  then she moves on to the change of address documents.  out they come and on to the floor.  not even one by one this time.  they are all over.  i quit working on my dossier and desperately search the crowd for a distraction.  it comes in right behind us in the form of a four-year old girl.  would you like to play with my daughter?  Please? Please?  i will pay you so much money if you can occupy her for five minutes.  well none of that was spoken out loud but merritt did pay a little attention to this girl.  long enough for her mom to ask me if we were adopting from the looks of our papers.  i said yes and she said they were too.  (really?)  she said where from?  i said congo. she said, us too.  (REALLY?)  they were much further along in their adoption process and were just about to go pick up their child from the congo.  exciting!  we had a little time to ask a few questions and i felt much calmer.  stuffed everything in, sealed it, mailed it and the postman took it from my arms and said, "next".  it was such a strange feeling to me to think i had just done something that would probably change our lives forever and he just handed me my receipt and said, "next".