Dolesh Family

Dolesh Family

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Report Card

we are two and a half weeks into school and our new routine.  it doesn't seem very "routine" yet, but it is going well overall.  all of the other cute and calm and on-time moms look at me strangely in the mornings when we all swarm the school with our precious kindergartners. (some more precious than others)  and i can tell they know: they know that i am not perfect.  they know i don't use a hair dryer.  they know that i lost my patience that morning.  they know my kitchen is a mess.  they know stimson did not have a gluten-free breakfast.  they know i don't have dinner made yet.  they know we didn't follow every bike safety rule. what they don't know is that my son eats a spinach salad every day for lunch.  (of his own volition) them: 7, me: 1.

stimson was nervous for about one day, until he realized his two best friends were in his class: the twin girls across the alley.  he settled right in and seems to be enjoying it.  i still don't know what he does all day, but whatever it is, he comes home happy.

merritt is liking her school too.  (two days a week) she seems proud that she has a "school" to go to since stimson goes to one.  stimson told me to tell her teachers that her name is "sweet pea" because she doesn't know her real name is merritt.  sweet pea turned two on sunday and she got a doll that has become her second best friend (next to stimson).  she named her kippa and they do everything together, even though kippa is usually upside-down, hanging by her toe.  

and now back to our regularly-scheduled adoption blog.  we have updated our home study to say that we are open to adopting a child in the age range of a new baby through five years of age.  so... it will be possible that we adopt an older child.  of course this little change is a long, paperwork-filled process.  As such, kippa will remain the youngest in our family for now.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

a tale of two families

family #1- 
this family has a mom and a dad and two beautiful children.  the mom stays at home to take care of her precious children.  she treasures her time at home with her children and considers the days and weeks go by too fast.  on most days, she rises before dawn to go on a run and greet the sun as it begins to rise.  she comes back full of energy and ideas for the coming day.  she plans out each day to be full of play time and fun activities that are educational and developmental.  her children eat healthy and get lots of physical activity during the day.  the mom adores her children and she has great love for them.  her children are energetic and well-behaved.  when the dad is done working each day, he comes home and kisses and hugs everyone.  he plays with the children while the mom makes dinner.  they eat together and the kids go to bed a short time later.  the mom and the dad have a quiet evening to clean up the house and get ready for the next day.  after the kids are sleeping, the mom often reflects on the day and how much she loves her family.  this family is planning on adopting a child from the congo.  the parents are very excited to welcome another child into their family and they are anxiously awaiting a referral.

family #2-
this family also has a mom and a dad and two kids.  the mom stays at home to take care of the kids and she also tries to work at home.  she is often tired and exhausted from trying (and failing) to balance work and kids and cooking and cleaning and phone calls and emails and lunches and toys and dust and friends and checking accounts.  she gets up early to plod jog, but it is never early enough to get back and get everything done.  sometimes the sun is rising while she is running but it shines right in her eyes and makes it harder to see where she is going.  the time she spends with her kids goes fast, but some days not fast enough.  this mom feels like she is inferior to all the super moms that can maintain manicures and conduct craft time and braid their daughters' hair and cook a multi-step dinner requiring lots of pots.  this mom has very little crafting abilities (and by that i mean none).  occasionally, she will fold a piece of paper in half to make a card.  on super-crafty days (and by that i mean one time), the folded piece of paper got a sticker.  most days she feels like she is running around desperately trying to get something (anything!) done and do entertaining things with the kids all the while keeping on top of work meetings and tasks and phone calls and emails and deadlines.  many days she feels like she is cracking into millions of pieces.  when five-something finally rolls around and the dad shows up, she starts unloading on him or just plain crying and hands off the kids.  she begins to stare at the messy countertop waiting for dinner to assemble and cook itself, wanting/hoping and eventually discarding the idea of going to pick up some food in non-washable disposable containers.  somehow dinner comes together, usually with the kitchen looking like it got attacked by monkeys.  the kids go to bed and the chaos continues- endless dishes, dust, and deadlines.  it is a race to get everything picked up so she can begin to work and get as much done in the evening as quickly as possible.  before enough work is done, it is time to make lunches and set stuff out for the next morning.  the mom then plans how she can multi-task as many things as possible the next day so as to get stuff done while entertaining the kids at the same time.  most of the time it ends up being a list of everything that did not get done during the day and once again has been pushed off to the next day.  she goes to bed exhausted.  she decides when to set her alarm so she can run again and have strength and energy to try and juggle it all again.  after everyone is sleeping, the mom often reflects on what she wishes she had done differently- playing more with her son, having more patience with her daughter, not being in a hurry the whole day, and ignoring her never-ending, always-present list of work and things to do.  this family is also trying to adopt a child from the congo.  they are in the referral phase, but when people ask about their progress in the adoption process, they reply they are in the "discouraged" phase where it seems like nothing is happening. 

this is the same family.